What is the foundation of a successful relationship?

443648-relationship-getty-happiness-happy-friendship

I think somewhere we all know the answer of this question but it is not the answer that is difficult rather its the implementation that is difficult. So it all comes down to the essence of being oneself and being accepted for that. Whether its friendship or marriage or any other kind of relationship that you have with a person, it can only be a good and happy one for you if you are able to be yourself . This can be substantiated by the fact that we all have best friends or best relations with some people better than the others and why that happens is because, we don’t feel obligated to behave ourselves with them. We are, what we are with them and that solidifies our bond with that person.

“And that’s the thing about people who mean everything they say. They think everyone else does too.”
Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner

Now here, the question arises that what obstructs us from being our real selves with other people? Similarly, why are other people not genuine around us? What is obstructing them from behaving as themselves in front of us? I believe it’s the fear of judgement that creates a barricade between us and the world. Very few people, who get through that barricade which we had erected around us are the ones we feel comfortable with and have the best sort of relationship that is possible for us to have.

Then there comes the next question that why are we ourselves with those who can penetrate our barricade? What makes them and the bond we have with them so special than others? The answer to this question lies in the fact that the relation we have with them has so much transparency. You can speak your mind without being judged and yes sometimes they won’t agree with you , may reprimand you for your actions, may berate you to the end of the world but all this makes that bond more special because there is so much of straightforwardness. Any relationship crumbles when people start having secrets and to hide them they have to lie. There is this saying that ” To hide 1 lie you will need to tell 100 more lies” . It is quite hard to keep up with so many lies to hide those secrets and after a certain period of time the truth will come out and all those secrets get revealed in an eerie way.

b7e112224d8f912b508e8f965ffd7f8d That brings me to the root of this post. We have all heard that, “HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY” and believe me my friends, it really is. The most inevitable truth of this universe is that the truth always comes out. You cannot keep it hidden forever. If you are honest and can speak your heart out to that someone and vice versa, then that is the relationship that can weather any storm. If any bond is meant to be severed then it will be. There is no point in hiding the truth because in the end it is going to make that other person feel cheated. The best course of action is to be honest and give that power of making decision to stay or walk away to that person. Atleast he or she will respect you enough for always being honest.

This honesty leads to trust which many people say is the key to a successful relationship, but this key is forged by a person’s honesty. Now if somebody is honest then there will be trust but the reverse is not true. I have seen many people believe in others and trust them but this trust is so fragile because a person can trust the other without knowing if he or she has always been honest with them or not. However the moment they come to know, that was not the case they shatter and don’t know how to trust anybody. So don’t give your trust so easily because it’s a very precious thing of yourself that you can give to someone. A person needs to earn it with their honesty and sincerity. Honesty_Quotes3

You know they say sometimes love is not enough to get you through your life and it really is not enough. What good is love if you cannot trust the person. Will that love be able to help you to be a better person than you are or is it simply going to destroy you because you will no longer be able to trust anybody. Atleast trusting someone again won’t be easy for you.

“Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters”
Albert Einstein

So I believe the foundation of a successful relationship is HONESTY. Any kind of relationship will only flourish as long as you can trust the person to be honest with you and if you cannot be honest to that person or if you feel a need to hide some truth even to shield that person, then you are never going to be yourself in front of them.  So try to be honest if you really want a relationship to work.

If you liked the post then please hit the like button. Also please share your views with me in the comment section below or you can also drop me a mail. Be updated on my recent posts by hitting the subscribe button.

I would really appreciate your feedback on my post. 🙂

What is LOVE?

There are many people who believe in love at first sight, but how many of us can be sure that it is love that we feel? Is falling in love that easy or that hard? When do we know that this is our one true love? These are the questions I have always pondered on and I suppose, everyone thinks about it once in a while.

r

LOVE is something which I have always mulled over to get a clear perspective on. Its the most abstract emotion that I have ever come across. I am single and have never been in love and probably that’s the reason it fascinates me the most. I have observed keenly that people are spendthrift with the word but not with the emotion attached to it. I believe there is a very fine line between love and lust which most people misunderstand.

The desire of love is to give and the desire of lust is to take.

I have seen people using phrases like :- ” I love this food”, ” I love this dress” etc. but they fail to understand that if you want something just because of any of its aesthetic property as it satisfies some kind of desire in you, then its “LUST” not “LOVE”. Some people say it’s an overrated word, probably because people say ‘I love my shoes’ and ‘I love you’ in the same statement. So, are you comparing the emotion you feel towards your beloved with your shoes? Well, the answer is NO. There is a huge difference between comparing and asserting something. When you say ‘I love you’ you are asserting your emotion but when you say ‘I love you more’ or ‘I love you the most’ then that’s comparison. So, never get confused with the use of these expressions because you need to add a comparative or superlative degree to compare and there is no point to think that anybody is belittling you by saying they love both you and their shoes as well in the same breath. As I said earlier that people are spendthrift when it comes to the use of word ‘LOVE’ but not with the emotion.

lust Like, Lust and Love are the three words in most people’s dictionary whose boundaries always overlap with each other. Actually, it’s quite difficult to distinguish the boundaries and draw a line where one intercedes the other because lust can be a culmination of your like and love can be a culmination of your lust. Hence, we muddle up with the words as well as the emotion.

So most of the people are searching for their ‘One true love’ and we see them continuously jumping from one relationship to the other and thinking, that they are in love with the person with whom they are currently in a relationship. This is where most  people around them think how can he/she fall in and out of love so frequently? And this is where the boundaries become vague between like, lust and love. You probably like a person which can lead you to lust for that person, and you confuse this lust as love. So when things don’t work out, the delusion gets over and you understand that it was just lust not love.

So, the big question is ‘WHEN DO YOU KNOW, YOU ARE REALLY IN LOVE?’ The answer to that question is really tough, if you are not clear about your own feelings. The things, the feelings, the gestures, the emotions that trigger love is different for different people and , that too varies with the person they are with. So, there is no single or specific answer to that question. It’s a special journey and everyone has their own path of discovering that benign, passionate and strong feeling we know as ‘LOVE’.

All I could say is that , there is no specific guide to find love. Sometimes you find love and sometimes love finds you. All we can do is just be clear what exactly do we feel.

Its just filtering out love from all the lust and likes that surround us and voilà !