The root of hesitation


Does being hesitant on something means you are under-confident, shy or an introvert?

I have pondered over these things and I realised that hesitating over somethings in your life doesn’t generally mean that you are an under confident person or an introvert. A confident person can also hesitate on somethings. I hesitate all the time and especially when it comes to the things I really like but neither I’m an introvert nor an under-confident person. Maybe its my fear that what if I get negative feedback or I get criticised for it that makes me hesitate before finally going for it.

For example I love to write but I still hesitate sometimes that what if other people don’t think my writing is upto the mark. It took me so long to even start writing my blog and a push from other people to make me realize that yes it’s my talent and I should make an effort to put it across others. Similarly I have this anxiety in everything  that people have ever told me I was good at and I have truly liked because, everytime I showcase it, there is a fear of it not being well received. I think that what is really close to your heart will always have this kind of impact. If I have to give an analogy for this then its the same anxiety or nervousness that you feel when you bring a man you love home to meet your parents, or the first time you introduce someone whom you genuinely have an affection for to your best friends. You hesitate so many times before bringing him to meet your parents because you are afraid whether they will approve or not? And same is the case with your friends who belong to your innermost sanctum. You pray all the time that it goes well and they like him too.

Human beings are social animals and we thrive in a society. Recently, I read an article on Caitlyn Jenner in The Guardian US edition, about her transition and a little gist of what is there in her biography that the interviewer wrote. I read a line where she herself confessed that she downplayed the whole gender issue with Kris before their marriage because she so wanted to be in the game, and at one point where she was around 40 she had also left the thought of transitioning but she transitioned after 25 years. So, the point that stuck with me was she hesitated over a decision and did it after 25 years because, we live in a society, we are society animals and we like to have approval and acceptance of the society we live in.

So, is overcoming your hesitation easy? No! its not, because hesitation comes where you really care about the thing on which people are going to form opinions. But yes, once you gain the confidence that no matter what peoples’ opinions are and become aware of the fact that they are only opinions, then I think it becomes easy to do what you like. As long as you feel it gives you true happiness then I believe it is worth defying the public and society opinions.

We only live once and what’s the point of living if you cannot do something that gives you happiness and that too only because of the fear that some people would react to it negatively or would criticise you. So, yes it takes courage to overcome that hesitancy but as long as nobody else gets harmed because of what you do, then you should give it a go if it gives you satisfaction and happiness.

P.S- Thanks for reading and I would love to hear from you guys! I would be happy to know your feedback and views.