The Sun of our life

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There are people who make our life worth living for and there are people who through all that time help us live this life. We all have our life problems and issues that we deal with on daily basis. Then there are some extra crisis situations too where we think that “Am I going to get through this or not?”

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
Haruki Murakami

So yes, overall we are humans and humans have a tendency to be self-centered. We never think about the support system that we have which would have helped us get through it. There are so many people, problems that revolve around us in our lives but even in all this there is somebody who gives us the right gravity and keeps us grounded so that we can get through this life. Someone who gives us the right balance to navigate through this life just like the Sun which stands in the centre and gives the right gravity to other planets and our Earth, so that the life can flourish on it. Even the smallest particle in our universe has a nucleus just like the Sun to give it a shape, balance and existence.

“Sometimes people are beautiful.
Not in looks.
Not in what they say.
Just in what they are.”
Markus Zusak, I Am the Messenger

We all have our own Sun who lets us find our own way through any problems or crisis, only giving us a nudge in the right direction and always standing there as our support system. Each one of us has that one person or more than one person who plays that role of the Sun in our lives. We kind of harness all the energy and support that they may provide us with which just makes our lives a lot easier by making happy times more happier and sad times a little less glum. With them standing with us even in the eye of any storm the horizon seems nearer and clearer. They help us in seeing the silver lining of any cloud.

So although we have our Sun in our lives sometimes we forget to appreciate their being there. As humans we are more attuned to our problems, our feelings our everything and try to address them first but forget that somebody else is also addressing your concerns with you. Sometimes ignorance is not bliss. Finding our Sun and holding onto that Sun is what we need to do and even though its the easiest task still we can’t manage to do that right.

We humans cannot survive alone because we are social animals and living life can become a tedious task if you don’t have the right company. So as

 “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
Mae West

Therefore find that person or persons who make the Sun of your life and hold onto them because life rarely gives second chances and having right people around you is what is going to get you through this life. We need to appreciate their value because they are the KEEPERS who we need to retain in our lives to make it more than a simple existence and a life worth living for.

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What is the foundation of a successful relationship?

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I think somewhere we all know the answer of this question but it is not the answer that is difficult rather its the implementation that is difficult. So it all comes down to the essence of being oneself and being accepted for that. Whether its friendship or marriage or any other kind of relationship that you have with a person, it can only be a good and happy one for you if you are able to be yourself . This can be substantiated by the fact that we all have best friends or best relations with some people better than the others and why that happens is because, we don’t feel obligated to behave ourselves with them. We are, what we are with them and that solidifies our bond with that person.

“And that’s the thing about people who mean everything they say. They think everyone else does too.”
Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner

Now here, the question arises that what obstructs us from being our real selves with other people? Similarly, why are other people not genuine around us? What is obstructing them from behaving as themselves in front of us? I believe it’s the fear of judgement that creates a barricade between us and the world. Very few people, who get through that barricade which we had erected around us are the ones we feel comfortable with and have the best sort of relationship that is possible for us to have.

Then there comes the next question that why are we ourselves with those who can penetrate our barricade? What makes them and the bond we have with them so special than others? The answer to this question lies in the fact that the relation we have with them has so much transparency. You can speak your mind without being judged and yes sometimes they won’t agree with you , may reprimand you for your actions, may berate you to the end of the world but all this makes that bond more special because there is so much of straightforwardness. Any relationship crumbles when people start having secrets and to hide them they have to lie. There is this saying that ” To hide 1 lie you will need to tell 100 more lies” . It is quite hard to keep up with so many lies to hide those secrets and after a certain period of time the truth will come out and all those secrets get revealed in an eerie way.

b7e112224d8f912b508e8f965ffd7f8d That brings me to the root of this post. We have all heard that, “HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY” and believe me my friends, it really is. The most inevitable truth of this universe is that the truth always comes out. You cannot keep it hidden forever. If you are honest and can speak your heart out to that someone and vice versa, then that is the relationship that can weather any storm. If any bond is meant to be severed then it will be. There is no point in hiding the truth because in the end it is going to make that other person feel cheated. The best course of action is to be honest and give that power of making decision to stay or walk away to that person. Atleast he or she will respect you enough for always being honest.

This honesty leads to trust which many people say is the key to a successful relationship, but this key is forged by a person’s honesty. Now if somebody is honest then there will be trust but the reverse is not true. I have seen many people believe in others and trust them but this trust is so fragile because a person can trust the other without knowing if he or she has always been honest with them or not. However the moment they come to know, that was not the case they shatter and don’t know how to trust anybody. So don’t give your trust so easily because it’s a very precious thing of yourself that you can give to someone. A person needs to earn it with their honesty and sincerity. Honesty_Quotes3

You know they say sometimes love is not enough to get you through your life and it really is not enough. What good is love if you cannot trust the person. Will that love be able to help you to be a better person than you are or is it simply going to destroy you because you will no longer be able to trust anybody. Atleast trusting someone again won’t be easy for you.

“Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters”
Albert Einstein

So I believe the foundation of a successful relationship is HONESTY. Any kind of relationship will only flourish as long as you can trust the person to be honest with you and if you cannot be honest to that person or if you feel a need to hide some truth even to shield that person, then you are never going to be yourself in front of them.  So try to be honest if you really want a relationship to work.

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